What's on My Mind

by Cameron Raasch

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1.
Prelude (What's on My Mind) 00:29
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I don't wanna say what's on my mind 'cause I don't really think you'll have the time I don't wanna say the whole truth 'cause I don't wanna make more excuses So I don't think I'll say what's on my mind Tonight
2.
Doctor 03:16
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You've got too many problems For you to solve all on your own Oh would you please stop me if I'm wrong And so you came to see me 'cause you don't want to be alone Don't think I can keep this up that long If what you need is a therapist Then I can't be the answer 'cause you don't want me to try and hold your hand You want me to be your doctor You're like a house of cards You could fall at any given time Oh at least that's what you say Lean on me please don't push me Get your priorities in line I know you'll be better off someday If what you need is a therapist Then I can't be the answer 'cause you don't want me to try and hold your hand You want me to be your doctor Oh your doctor Oh your doctor If what you need is a therapist Then I can't be the answer 'cause you don't want me to try and hold your hand You want me to be your doctor
3.
Lock + Key 03:41
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I found you with your heart already broken Like a book, already opened With its pages all torn out You found me alone and isolated And always overcompensating To try to cover up my doubts And that's not to say That I don't have them anymore But oh, baby please Won't you stay and wait for me I'm done with being all alone 'cause I've always felt like I'm a lock without a key With you it feels like home I know that sounds a bit overdramatic It might've come off as sarcastic But I'm telling you the truth When you're here, there's never any hezitation There's only just the inclination To try to measure up to you And that's not to say I wasn't trying that before But oh, baby please Won't you stay and wait for me I'm done with being all alone 'cause I've always felt like I'm a lock without a key But with you I feel like I'm home Will you be with me forever? 'cause I want you around And will you be my never ever 'cause I never ever ever wanna let you down Oh, baby please Won't you stay and wait for me I'm done with being all alone 'cause I've always felt like I'm a lock without a key But with you I feel like I'm home
4.
Need Me 03:08
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I just wanna fade away Only for a couple days That way I could never let you down While I'm away Do you think what we have is real? Because that's never how it feels It would help if you'd acknowledge it But you conceal And I know this may be hard for you to hear Trust me that it's hard for me to say This love's not for me 'cause I need you to need me You could have been in anyone else's arms Why are they mine? Maybe it's all just in my head Maybe it's all just like you said I don't know why I'm so unsure Shouldn't be this insecure So excuse the dread But it's a feeling I can't shake It's getting kinda hard to take I'm never tired in my bed Running circles in my head So I lie awake And I hope this doesn't hurt too much to hear Trust me that it's hurting me to say This love's not for me 'cause I need you to need me You could have been in anyone else's arms Why are they mine? Do you need me? 'cause I need you Do you need me? 'cause I need you Do you need me? 'cause I need you And I think you should just go to bed, my dear 'cause I don't think it's worth it now to say This love's not for me 'cause I know you don't need me You could have been in anyone else's arms Why are they mine?
5.
If You Don't Speak 03:25
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The going could be going better if you do tell me what you want is it all too much to ask to be a little more up front? you know you tell me that you wanna open up and then you back up 'cause all the insecurities and doubts they seem to stack up I can't help but feel that you want more out of me well if you want me to hold your hand you gotta have a hand free if you don't speak if you don't speak if you don't speak no one can hear you so talk to me just talk to me so talk to me you know I'm always here I'm here for you 'cause baby all I want to do is open up to you all you've gotta do for me is let these walls fall down and speak go ahead and say what's on your mind I can guarantee I have the time all I wanna hear is the whole truth yeah you've run out of excuses, baby if you don't speak yeah you won't speak you make me weak 'cause you don't speak if you don't speak if you don't speak if you don't speak no one can hear you so talk to me just talk to me so talk to me you know I'm always here I'm here for you
6.
Blame Game 03:49
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Turn around, come a little bit closer now Tell me all about how it hurts to tell me that it's over Yeah I convinced myself that we were perfect while you were dying just beneath the surface I dragged it out to not look like the bad guy well joke's on me 'cause now I'm just a sad guy Don't wait for me to come around 'ause all I do is drag you down I tore you apart just by letting you in And soon enough I'd let you down The hardest part, Now that you're gone I'm gonna have to start Taking stock of the things that being with you let me gloss over Yeah now I'm left to pick up all the pieces Oh God I'm glad that you're not here to see this I'm broken and defeated for the weekend Please someone call a doctor, need some treatment Don't wait for me to come around 'cause all I do is drag you down I tore you apart just by letting you in And soon enough I'd let you down So don't come knocking at my door When you can't take it anymore I'm trying to leave you in the past But you keep on coming back Your face, can't make it go away So don't come knocking at my door When you can't take it anymore Hold on just a little while longer 'cause I can't stand to be alone Can you say that you've gotten any stronger? You never had to go it on your own But you ran away From all your mistakes Left me with the heartache Didn't help with the headaches So don't come knocking at my door When you can't take it anymore I'm trying to leave you in the past But you keep on coming back Your face, can't make it go away So don't come knocking at my door 'cause I can't take it anymore
7.
Dead Weight 04:53
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I feel like I've been slipping away for years now I feel it happen and I want it to stop, but I don't know how It's like a bad dream I can't do anything But sit here as it all falls apart Least that's what I'd say If ever came a day That I recalled a single part Of my dreams 'cause I can't sleep And all my dreams They all escape me Dead weight can't hold on forever And I'm scared there letting go of me I thought you'd be my never ever But it's time I let you know I'm fading away Don't think I can stay here I'm losing my way And I'm fading away The isolation wasn't this hard to take when I had you 'cause all I have now are these feelings and no one to talk to Overdramatic And maybe too sarcastic But no one cares for subtlety It's disorienting I'm scared my story's ending I guess my only option is wait and see 'cause dead weight can't hold on forever And I'm scared there letting go of me I thought you'd be my never ever But it's time I let you know I'm fading away Don't think I can stay here I'm losing my way And I'm fading away No they don't like me There gonna find me out And they'll all leave It always feels like They rather all be doing Anything other than talking to me Someone please won't you stay and wait for me I'm scared of being all alone 'cause all I am is a lock that lost its key I'm dead weight on my own And dead weight can't hold on forever And I'm scared they'll throw me overboard 'cause dead weight can't hold on forever And I'm scared there letting go of me I thought you'd be my never ever But it's time I let you know I'm fading away Don't think I can stay here I'm losing my way And I'm fading away
8.
Deadbolt 01:58
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Let me show you to the way out 'cause it would do you well to stay out Of my business (Of my business) That was a little bit aggressive But my development's arrested By the distance (By the distance) 'cause I'm locked in my own head again And you've thrown away the key Yeah I'm locked in my own head again And this time I don't wanna leave Communication with the outside Is either a fake laugh or an "I'm fine" Is that healthy? ('cause it kills me) And I've been spending most of my time Hoping that I don't need a hotline I guess we'll see (I guess we'll see) 'cause I'm locked in my own head again And you've thrown away the key Yeah I'm locked in my own head again And this time I don't wanna leave Now I'm here all by myself In my own little hell These walls won't go away They just keep on getting higher 'cause I'm locked in my own head again And you've thrown away the key Yeah I'm locked in my own head again But I just want to leave
9.
A Chance to Talk 04:48
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You're gone, I'm here All alone with my thoughts Somehow I fear I won't make it out alive Ate my words and I choked 'cause you finally spoke When you told me it was over Just stop thinking If I want to survive I lie awake in my bed Alone and stuck in my head If it's been so long why is everything the same? So I'll sing you this verse And pray it doesn't get worse Its so much harder when there's no one to blame How do you know be fine If I say what's on my mind? Can you promise I won't just scare you away But if there's no other way Can you call me today? Be my doctor can you tell me that I'll be okay? 'cause I don't wanna feel alone tonight And all I want is just a chance to talk 'cause I don't wanna lose you forever And I don't wanna feel alone tonight And I'm glad we had this chance to talk 'cause I don't wanna lose you forever But maybe this doesn't have to be the end And maybe now we can start over again And maybe now I won't fall apart so easily this time This time 'cause I don't wanna lose you

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released October 9, 2020

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Cameron Raasch Bakersfield, California

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